Henry Krinkle officially refudiates Sarah Palin

Okay, first off here, the only reason that Sarah Palin even exists in the atmosphere of national politics and societal consciousness is that major news outlets as well as the "lamestream media" and the blogosphere continually write about her; be it good or bad.  Henry is the first to admit that he writes about her far too much.  But I can't help myself.  It's like when I jump back and forth between referring to myself in the first and third person.  It's just really fun. 

Anyway, as it turns out, Sarah Palin is, like, the new Shakespeare or something (according to Caribou Barbi herself).  The world's preeminent "Mama Grizzly," professional Facebook blogger, sometimes Governor of Alaska, hockey mom and mavricky maverick took to her Twitter account to not only invent a new word but also to spread her hatred of Islam.   Nothing new there.

From her Twitter account she asked the "peaceful Muslims" to "pls refudiate" plans made by The Cordoba Initiative, a Muslim organization, to build a mosque just mere blocks away from ground zero.  In another tweet, after she deleted the first one wherein she proved that she's a bumbling moron, she asked "peaceful New Yorkers" (you know, because most New Yorkers are savage fucking animals) to refute the plans.  In a follow-up tweet, she asked "peace-seeking Muslims" to understand that the construction of a mosque in that area "stabs hearts."  Yes, this is the level of intellect that we're dealing with here.

Let's, just for a moment, dismiss the slaughtering of the English language and her outright bigotry.  Let's talk about how people find this type of fucking idiocy to be endearing.  You know, the old election adage: I want a president/governor/whatever that I can have a beer with.  People want someone in power to make them feel like they are equal to one another.  Henry, on the other hand, wants an official that makes him feel inferior.  I want the smartest motherfucker in the room calling the shots.  Why don't the majority of Americans feel the same way?  Why is it that in a country like the United States, we elect complete fucking imbeciles like George W. Bush to protect our constitution?  Why the fuck is Sarah Palin a viable candidate in 2012?  Are Americans so fucking arrogant that it's taboo in our political spectrum to elect smart individuals to run the fucking show?  Granted, we did a pretty good job in electing Barack Obama but the excitement of that has basically run its fucking course. 

Obviously, liberal elites aside, the majority of America (mostly middle America and Orange County) have already given up on our new intelligent president if they had even given him a chance in the first place.  Americans just continue to smear shit on this great country by virtue of the fact that, for the most part, we're a bunch of goddamn idiots.  From the Tea Party to pretend news outlets like Fox News, the dumbing down of America is happening right before us and people like Sarah Palin are at the helm.  Why?  Because we let it happen.

With that said, I, Henry Krinkle, officially refudiate Sarah Palin.  If only I could find a listing for refudiate on dictionary.com.  Having a hard time finding wee-wee'd up and misunderestimate as well.

It's retard time with your host, Henry Krinkle

And now an update on the flaming hypocrisy/incompetence/ballsiness-without-a-sense-of-irony of the right-wing retards that manipulate the ignorant in our country.

Karl Rove (an entertainer of the clown sort from Fox News) and human brown eye, Ed Gillespie have decided that it would be a good idea to attack Sen. Harry Reid due to his apparent lack of funding to the state of Nevada from the Recovery Act.  Yes, they are attacking him for not allocating enough money from a bill that they, as well as every other republican asshole in this country, absolutely did not support.  I know, I know.  The rational that these dipshits exude is such comedy that you have to wonder if they're actually serious.  But it's true, they are indeed serious.

The thing that cracks Henry up so much is that Gillespie and his toe sucking partner, Karl Rove along with all the other obstructionists keep complaining that Barack Obama promised that the unemployment rate would not get higher than 8%.  Now that we're at about 9.5-10% unemployed, these fucktards won't stop crying about it.  Okay, so Obama promised something that he couldn't deliver.  Here's my thing: Karl Rove and Ed Gillespie were integral components to the George W. Buttfuck administration, right?  They want to call the president out on the fact that unemployment has largely gotten out of this administration's control insofar as the Recovery Act and what it promised.  But he promised.  He promised.  Cry me a fucking river.  Karl Rove, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, George Tenet, et al. promised us that if we illegally invade and occupy Iraq, they'll prove that Saddam Hussein was in possession of weapons of mass destruction.  They have the fucking balls to complain about Obama letting the unemployment rate slip 1-2% more than what he said yet they were the perpetrators of the biggest fucking scam in recent history and they get a free goddamn pass?  They were the ones that fucking led to the disaster that we currently finds ourselves in.  Sorry for my complete digression here.

These fucking cunts want to lambaste Harry Reid for his handling of stimulus funds to the state of Nevada even though they didn't want the goddamn Recovery Act.  That's good stuff.  How is it that an extension of unemployment benefits which was endorsed by Harry Reid was blocked and eventually killed by Senate Republicans get under Rove and Gillespie's radar?  Oh, right.  They're too fucking stupid to see that Reid is, in fact, trying to help his constituents and it's complete morons like themselves that keep preventing it  It's also morons such as themselves that do not see the irony in calling out a president that promised something and didn't deliver.  I'm still waiting for my Iraqi WMDs.  Where the fuck are they?

View the Thinkprogress article here 

Enough is enough, goddamnit!

So, is anyone else sick and fucking tired of hearing about this Lebron James guy?  You know Henry is.  On the same hand, it's a good thing that he did the whole free agency thing.  I mean, if he didn't, 'Merica as a whole might not have forgotten about the fact the earth is shitting oil into the ocean and very well may be the one thing that ends humanity.  Thank the fake Christ for King James, right?

I guess, not being a fan of sports in general, I don't understand the fucking hoopla about this goddamn Lebron thing.  Okay, so we have this kid that got signed into the pros when he was like seven and a half years old or something.  He's been tapped as the greatest ball player to ever grace the game (presupposing that he surpasses Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant).  He plays for his home team, the Cleveland Cavaliers or whatever.  Then, after making a fuck ton of money while not winning a championship (although, he did earn a couple of MVP awards or some shit), he decides he's gonna play for another team.  Big goddamn deal.  Athletes do this shit all the fucking time.  

Did you guys hear about the majority owner of the Cleveland team writing an open letter to Cavs fans?  It's too bad SNL is on hiatus right now.  That shit was written for your favorite Saturday night television program.  

Here is an excerpt:

Dear Cleveland, 

All Of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers Supporters Wherever You May Be Tonight; As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted this evening, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier. This was announced with a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his "decision" unlike anything ever "witnessed" in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment. 

Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us [...]

Boo fucking hoo, guy.  Seriously.  Could you be any more unprofessional?

I mean, people actually think that because this James character left Cleveland for Miami, the state of Ohio is basically gonna fucking die.  It's just going to keel over and die.  Really, people actually think this.  

Josh Green of the Atlantic had this to say about it:

Back to Ohio. The unemployment rate is well above the national average, nearly 11 percent. The state's manufacturing base has been decimated, and those jobs aren't coming back. And now, suddenly, the biggest star in the state -- an economic engine in his own right, and a guy who probably single-handedly made Cleveland a recognizable sports mecca all over the world -- has forsaken its residents. And not just forsaken them, but utterly humiliated them by forsaking them on a globally televised ESPN Special!  Would you be angry? I sure would be. And I'd be that much more amenable to the Tea Party message that everything is going to hell.

Now, I'm not gonna deny that Green makes some interesting points.  James certainly is an "economic engine" in his own right.  Sure.  But to imply that the good people of the state of Ohio will not survive because of Lebron James' decision to play for another club is fucking preposterous.  Was this a total bullshit way of handling the situation on James' part?  Yes.  There is no doubt about it. 

If you're gonna sit there and tell me that the nice people in the Buckeye State will only survive if one single person, Lebron James, decides to stay and collect something like eleventy billion dollars over the next few years, I would say you're bat shit crazy.  Seriously, go to the fucking mental institution or give Henry some of whatever you're smoking.

And to bring the goddamn tea baggers into this?  Jesus fucking H.  We all know that the country is in the toilet.  And it's all that socialist/Marxist/Nazi/Kenyon Barack Obama's fault.  It absolutely has nothing to do with George W. Butt Fuck.  It's all Obama's fault.  And to somehow suggest that the fucking tea baggers are right because James split for South Beach is fucking retarded.  RETARDED.  

None of this dumb-ass shit matters anyway.  With the scorching heat all over the country (who would have thunk that it gets hot in the summer?); our imminent death by crude; earthquakes; hurricanes, etc. we're all fucking dead in five to ten years.  It also doesn't matter cause the LA Lakers are headed for a four-peat.  Fuck you, Miami. 

Imperial Bedrooms: A book review by yours truly

Imperial Bedrooms, the sixth novel by the enfant terrible of Gen X literature, Bret Easton Ellis, serves as a sequel of sorts to, the now legendary, Less Than Zero.  Being a huge fan of Zero, I was extremely excited to find out what our characters (Clay, Julian, Rip, Blair, Trent, et al.) had been up to over the last quarter century.  As it turns out, they've been up to a lot... and nothing.

Clay Easton, taking over the duties of narrator from the "friend" who wrote Zero, proves that he's just as unreliable a storyteller as the aforementioned "friend."  25 years on, Clay is now a successful screenwriter who, as in Zero, has returned to Los Angeles from the east coast.  This time, however, it's not just a Christmas vacation as it's more of a permanent thing.  He's in town to collaborate in the casting of his latest script, The Listeners (see also: The Informers).  Once settled into his condo in West Hollywood, it becomes apparent to Clay as well as to the audience that things have changed but have also remained in a state of over-sexed drugged-out entropy.  

Rip, now barely recognizable due to years of plastic surgery, is still the same charming drug dealing sociopath that he was in his late teens.  Blair is now married to Trent who is now a film producer and studio associate to the company producing The Listeners.  And Julian, oh Julian...  Not much has changed there other than the fact that he is no longer a smack-head.  Yes, Julian is clean and remains in a very fragile and volatile state.  However, despite his being sober, Julian is still up to his same old tricks.  It seems he's taken advice from those who put him in the predicament he found himself in, in Zero.

As Clay falls deeper and deeper into the underbelly of the upper-crust society of Los Angeles' well-to-do, he finds that his yearning for emotional and physical attachment is as prevalent as it was when he was a college student.  In this case though, it's less metaphorical and more literal.  He falls for an actress, Rain Turner, who has virtually no chance of locking in a key role in Clay's new film without the help of Clay himself.  Is she just another wannabe hungry and willing to do whatever it takes for her to achieve her big break or is there something more sinister at play?  Certainly, one may concede that the old "fuck-the-actress-and-promise-her-a-role" tactic may be a little bit trite and obvious but Ellis is playing with something here that goes above and beyond the typical devices that an author may employ in this type of narrative.  Obviously, Ellis is far too intelligent to fall into that trap.

The seemingly innocent, if not temporary, affair with the young actress evolves into a multi-layered tapestry that eventually envelops our narrator in a web of deceit, double crosses and manipulation ostensibly manufactured by those closest to him.  But is it manufactured by those closest to him?  Is anyone close to him?  Is he close to himself?

In a Los Angeles where nothing is as it seems, where anything is possible, where anything is obtainable and human emotion serves only as a secondary thought, Ellis shows us a world so bleak and depraved that one can only wonder, how much of this is true and how much of it is fiction?  With Imperial Bedrooms, Ellis has found a way to successfully blur the line between youthful disaffection and mature disillusion while maintaining a tangible difference between the two.

Today, we have a guest columnist.

***Hey there readers.  Today we have a guest columnist.  So shut the fuck up and read this piece.  For safety of the writer, they shall remain anonymous.***

Dear Henry Krinkle Readers, I am not Henry Krinkle.  Henry Krinkle is my friend, and for that reason, you should be jealous.  I write you today, because I went to Largo at the Coronet with Henry Krinkle to meet one of the best authors in the world, Bret Easton Ellis.  Bret has written many great books: Less Than Zero, The Informers, Glamorama, American Psycho, Lunar Park, and most recently, Imperial Bedrooms.  Henry and I sat and listened to different celebrities read from Bret’s books, before the man himself entered.  Bret read from his newest novel, and was later interviewed by James Van Der Beek.  I don’t hate James VDB, but he really needs to learn how to think for himself.  The boy brought in questions from Twitter.  James VDB fans should not be writing interview questions for Bret Easton Ellis. After the reading, there was a book signing where Henry and I stood in line with another Bret Ellis fan and Henry’s girlfriend, (who happened to have a black eye).  I’m not implying that Henry gave this black eye to his girlfriend.  I know he didn’t do this, because Henry and I were cooking steaks at my house when the black eye incident occurred.  What did we learn?  If you aren’t hanging out with Henry cooking steaks, anything can happen. Finally, we got to meet the man.  Bret Easton Ellis is a rock star.  Chuck Palahniuk comes to mind as the only other writer that has rock star status.  So there he was, personable, sharp, well spoken, and unbelievably gracious.  Even when I was stumbling to get my words out, he took the time to listen.  I didn’t have a question to ask him, I felt it more important to tell him how he inspires.  So I thanked him and listened to Henry’s conversation.  Henry had a question for Bret, but that’s not for me to share with you. That’s Henry’s memory, and if you want to know what was said, then ask him.  I’m only here as a guest. Sincerely, ……

Get into this!!!

I know you all have been following Friday Night Lights.  How do I know that?  Because you would be silly not to and Henry doesn't have silly readers.  If you didn't TiVo that shit, you can watch it here.  

If you need a little catch-me-up, go to this link.  It's a really good piece written by Heather Havrilesky for Salon.com.

Matt Taibbi has left the mothafuckin' buildin'

It is with great saddness that I report that brother Matt Taibbi is leaving his post as resident gangster-ass blogger on True/Slant.  Matt is going on to do some full-time blogging for Rolling Stone, which is a good thing no doubt (even though Rolling Stone sucks insofar as music journalism).  Good luck, Mr. Taibbi.  Yo, when are you gonna be on Bill Maher again?  Them shits is awesome when you report for that program.

Register to VOTE

Hello, dear readers.

Today is the deadline to register or re-register to vote in California for the June primaries.  The envelope MUST be post dated with today's date.  So, do that shit.  Okay?

To print off the PDA, go here.

See you in June!

Oh, that crazy Lohan girl

Hey, readers. Sorry about that last tangent. Some fucking people just hit a fucking nerve and sometimes Henry just can't help himself.

In other news, it turns out that there is this big debacle where Lindsay Lohan apparently missed a court date for that one time that she did drugs and drank too much or something. She missed her court appearance because a bunch of meanies in Cannes, France stole her passport therefore she couldn't get back to the US for her court appearance. I thought, until I read about this, the only person that actually gave a fuck about Lindsay Lohan was Dr. Drew. I guess I was wrong.

As it turns out, she rescheduled her appointment with the LA County Superior Court. Thank god. Now Lindsay can clear up this whole mess and prove that she's an innocent girl trapped in the skin of an eighty year old granny. Have you seen pictures of her lately? Christ all mighty.

Oh... wait... there's already a hiccup. Turns out that a picture has surfaced that implies that Lindsay was doing cocaine in Cannes. But she claims it was a setup. Yeah, as in someone put that rolled up 100 Euro note in your hand while you're sitting next to what appears to be lines of cocaine and it looks like you're just feeling the drip as soon as the photo was snapped. Likely story.

See, readers. This is precisely why America and the rest of the world should stop thinking about, writing about, and giving any kind of shit about this human turd. It makes us stupid just like her. Unless this walking stain proves to be Christ re-incarnated, you won't read another article about Lindsay Lohan on this website ever again. Thing is, Christ never existed so you're in the clear.

Fuck You!

So, is there anyone else that’s tired of the self-amused narcissistic attitude that many have come to possess in the city of angels?  Now, before I go on, let me be clear: I know that Los Angeles and the people that inhabit this beautiful city are not known for modesty, courtesy and respect for those around them.  Henry is fully aware of this, but what the fuck?

Henry and his posse were in tow for the Massive Attack show that took place at the Wiltern this past Wednesday.  Fucking amazing show, to say the least.  I can’t wait for the next one. 

So Henry pays sixty of his hard earned US dollars to get into the show.  That’s a small price to pay for the privilege of this musical experience.  What I did not pay sixty of my hard earned US dollars for was to hear some fucking idiot run her fat fucking mouth the whole goddamn time… or to watch the fucking show through the screen of a goddamn camera phone. 

The next time I have this experience; there will be an act of violence.  Seriously.  I will fucking punch someone in the goddamn face. 

To the idiot that called me an asshole for telling her to shut the fuck up, you better hope that I never fucking see you again.  Only then will we see who the real asshole is.  And to the fucking tool that held is camera phone up the entire goddamn show, the next time I run into you I’m going to smash your fucking phone into the goddamn asphalt outside the venue and then I’ll proceed to curb stomp your fucking ass right in front of everyone.

Violence is not the answer, kids.  But sometimes it’s your only option.