Rest in peace, Dr. Gordon

 

Today, at one of Henry's favorite hangouts (Amoeba Music in Hollywood), it came to my attention that one of the finest people I've ever known has passed away.  Lee D. Gordon, music connoisseur, Folk/Country master and all around great guy, died of complications due to Myocarditis which is the inflammation of the heart muscle.  I guess his heart was too big for his small body. 

There wasn't a day that passed that Henry didn't learn something from this Jack of all trades.  Brother Lee was a music purest and someone who was respected and loved by all.  I'm gonna miss hearing that raspy baritone voice of his sprinkling his vast knowledge on the people around him. 

Best of luck to his little boy and his lovely wife.  He was such a proud father and loving husband. 

Today, we lost a very special soul.  Rest in peace, Brother Lee.  You will be greatly missed.

Republicans need to ask for the resignation of President Barack Hussein Obama

Good afternoon, readers.  If you haven't heard yet, Barack Obama is the picture of health with the exception of the occasional cigarette and tendinitis in his left knee.  His weight is normal, cholesterol levels (mostly) normal, he eats small portions and is physically active.  

Why does Barack Obama hate Americans so much?  Doesn't he know that 1/3 of Americans are obese?  What a fucking Marxist asshole.  I know what needs to be done.  Obama and his teleprompter need to be asked to resign.  His health is a threat to national security, it's a threat to the sterling reputation of the American people and it's down right elitist.  All of this is just further proof that Obama is out of touch with America.  

Obama can't get anything done not because of obstructionist republicans or extreme partisanship.  No.  Barack Obama can't get anything done because he's too fucking busy running on the treadmill.  

Douche Bag Blotter #11: Barack Obama hates your coke dealer

Do you remember that one time when a few terrorists got together and decided to dive bomb a couple of planes into the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and a field somewhere in Pennsylvania?  Do you remember when the fuck-up that was “leading” our country at the time let the attacks happen?  How about the subsequent stomping on the United States Constitution?  Do you remember those things?  Henry does. 

As it turns out, Barack Obama is perfectly okay with said stomping of said Constitution.  According the AP, President Obama signed a year extension of the Patriot Act.  Some provisions were kept, some were taken out. 

From the Associated Press, the three sections of the act that will stay in force are:

·         Authorize court-approved roving wiretaps that permit surveillance on multiple phones.

·         Allow court-approved seizure of records and property in anti-terrorism operations.

·         Permit surveillance against a so-called lone wolf, a non-U.S. citizen engaged in terrorism who may  not be part of a recognized terrorist group.

…The Senate also approved the measure, with privacy protections cast aside when Senate Democrats lacked the necessary 60-vote supermajority to pass them. Thrown away were restrictions and greater scrutiny on the government's authority to spy on Americans and seize their records.” [...]

 If you want to continue to use cocaine, you better work on your code words with your dealer because Big Bro is watching.  

It is truly a sad day.

Good evening, friends.  It truly is sad to report that Boner Stabone has gone limp.  I know that I shouldn't be joking about the death of our friend but I think Boner wouldn't mind.  Though the cause of death has not been confirmed, it is reported that his family has suspected suicide and is quite sure that his lifelong depression was the certainly a factor.  His father issued the following statement:

"If you are one of those people who can't handle it any more, know people are out there who really care before you make that final decision. Talk to somebody."

Foul play, according to Vancouver police, was not suspected in the death of Boner.  He was just bummed out and now we are all bummed.  Rest in peace, Boner.  

All-points Bulletin! All-points Bulletin!!!

BONER HAS GONE MISSING!!!

Andrew Koenig, better known as Boner Stabone in the wholesome family sitcom, Growing Pains, has disappeared into thin air.  Henry never wants to hear those words.  "Boner has gone missing."  Anyway, Boner went missing from Vancouver earlier this week.  He was competing in the Curling Championship.  Not really but that would've been funny though, huh?


Too bad this asshole didn't go missing.  It's always the good ones that disappear.  Henry is gonna go cry now.

Not another one!!!

What the fuck is it that is up? I know you all must be thinking, www.whoishenrykirnkle.com is becoming the hub for gossip regarding Sarah Palin. Henry is fully aware that he reports far too much on the former governor. But she is such an easy target. All Henry is trying to do is point out the absolute absurdity of this human being as well as the absurdity of those who are retarded enough to support this human bowel movement. Sarah Palin is a walking contradiction. She is the dumbest formerly elected official in the history of our country. When I say that, I mean it; even more so that George W. Buttfuck.

Palin is back in the news today because she has allowed her grandson, the son of her high school dropout daughter, become a victim of death panels. If you remember, Sarah Palin was one of the primary voices in coining the debunked term. Well, as it turns out, Tripp, her illegitimate grandson has socialized health care. 

 

  

There you have it folks.  Just more evidence of the shameless hypocrisy of Sarah Palin.  What would we do without this imbecile?  

I promise I will stop reporting on her as much I have.  Actually, I'll do whatever the fuck I want.  Henry plays by his own rules.

CPAC 2010

Cunt PAC is in full motherfucking effect!

Good morning, readers.  CPAC a.k.a. CuntPAC is in full swing and boy oh boy, did they bring out the big guns.  Everyone from corporate rapist, Dick Armey to professional truck-stop man-whore, Ann Coulter to Mr. Pacemaker himself, Dick Cheney.

The thing that these idiots have talked most about is the fact that Obama uses a teleprompter.  These fucking twats honestly believe that Barack Obama is the only politician in the entire world that has used a teleprompter.  But the thing that really is awesome about the fact that these shit turds keep bad-mouthing Obama and his teleprompter use is that they themselves either use a teleprompter, scribble on their hands or other wise.  Here is a picture of Mark Rubio at CuntPAC standing in front of a teleprompter while talking shit about Barack Obama and his teleprompter use.

As the days go by at CuntPAC, the weirder it gets.  A benchmark for modern conservativism of course is an anti-union stance.  It wouldn’t be the hypocrisy convention it is unless the staff that serves food, drink etc, weren’t unionized.  Of course the wait staff at Marriot Wardman Park hotel is unionized and the conservatives are just head over heels for the amazing service they’ve been receiving.  

Just when you thought that a convention like this would be the circle jerk you may have thought, the attendees and the speakers just keep you guessing.  GOProud was a co-sponsor of this years convention and a lot of the attendees are none too happy about it.  A spokesperson from Students for Liberty took some time out of his speaking engagement to thank the organizers for allowing GOProud to co-sponsor.  In true bigoted conservative fashion, the sentiment was met with hisses and boos.

The biggest of the big news at this years convention was the surprise appearance from Dick Cheney.  It's so awesome that we never saw the asshole in command when he was an actual elected official but now that he is NOT in a position of power, he won't shut his fucking mouth.  Of course his had his Medusa offspring with him and she then cleared her bowels via her mouth as per usual.

What would a good old-fashioned neo-Nazi convention be without Sarah Palin?  She wasn't there of course but she did however feel that she needed to lend her two cents about the for profit organization.  She hates profiteering so much that she declined the offer to speak for free at CPAC so that she could get a $100,000.00 paycheck to speak at the National Tea Party Convention.  On the issue of hypocrisy, with these looney motherfuckers, when it rains it fucking pours.

BREAKING NEWS!!! BREAKING NEWS!!! BREAKING fucking NEWS!!!

No, Henry isn’t talking about the domestic terrorist that flew his plane into the IRS building in Austin.  That’s so yesterday.  Henry is talking about the big golden turd that Zeus flew down from the heavens to lay in his lap.  As I pointed out in the 16^th, Sarah Palin and her little robot, Bristol went after Family Guy for making fun of their retarded family member, Trig.  They freaked out because the show had a character that had Down syndrome and was the offspring of the former governor of Alaska.  What they didn’t expect in their hollow rage was the fact that the actress that lent her voice to said character has… wait for it… wait for it… Down syndrome.  That’s right, folks.  Andrea Fay Friedman has Down syndrome and she has some unkind words for the actual former governor and current douchefuck.

 “My name is Andrea Fay Friedman.  I was born with Down syndrome.  I played the role of Ellen on the ‘Extra Large Medium’ episode of Family Guy that was broadcast on Valentine’s Day.  Although they gave me red hair on the show, I am really a blonde.  I also wore a red wig for my role in ‘Smudge’ but I was a blonde in ‘Life Goes On.’  I guess former governor Palin does not have a sense of humor.  I thought the line ‘I am the daughter of the former governor of Alaska’ was very funny.  I think the word is ‘sarcasm.”

 “In my family we think laughing is good.  My parents raised me to have a sense of humor and live a normal life.  My mother did not carry me around under her arm like a loaf of French bread the way former Governor Palin carries her son Trig around looking for sympathy and votes.”

Holy shit!!!  I know whom I’m voting for in 2012.  This Andrea Friedman girl is way fucking smarter than the entire Palin family.  It is truly wonderful to see Sarah Palin put in her place by someone that she would normally exploit for, as Ms. Friedman would say, “sympathy and votes.”   HAHAHA!!! Fuck you Sarah Palin and Fuck you Bristol Palin.  Go back to school you fucking retards.

Sarah/Bristol Palin ask for the resignation of Rupert Murdoch

Actually, that isn’t true. That would actually mean that they did something that wasn’t hypocritical. Here is how Henry looks at it: Family Guy, the wonderful television show created and produced by Seth MacFarlane, came under fire from the Palin camp due to the fact that the show made fun of Trig Palin who has Down syndrome. Of course, Palin did what she does best; she took to her faceBook page to bitch and complain about it but did so through her single-mother daughter, Bristol. This is what Bristol had to say about the situation:

“When you’re the son or daughter of a public figure, you have to develop thick skin. My siblings and I all have that, but insults directed at our youngest brother hurt too much for us to remain silent. People with special needs face challenges that many of us will never confront, and yet they are some of the kindest and most loving people you’ll ever meet. Their lives are difficult enough as it is, so why would anyone want to make their lives more difficult by mocking them? As a culture, shouldn’t we be more compassionate to innocent people – especially those who are less fortunate? Shouldn’t we be willing to say that some things just are not funny? Are there any limits to what some people will do or say in regards to my little brother or others in the special needs community? If the writers of a particularly pathetic cartoon show thought they were being clever in mocking my brother and my family yesterday, they failed. All they proved is that they’re heartless jerks.

That’s right. The writers of a “particularly pathetic cartoon show” are all “heartless jerks.” Take that Family Guy writers. Instead, what the Palins should have done is call for the resignation of Rupert Murdoch. As you all know, Rupert Murdoch is the Chairman, Chief Executive Officer and the Founder of News Corp. News Corp. is the parent company of pretty much everything from 20th Century Fox to The Fox News Channel to the FX Network as well as Fox Broadcasting Company. The latter being the network that produces and airs Family Guy.

 Much like the situation with Rahm Emanuel, Palin has decided to pick and choose her battle. When Rahm Emanuel says that a group of conservative liberals are “…fucking retards,” Palin asks for the resignation of Emanuel. But when Rush Limbaugh says virtually the same thing, it’s perfectly okay. When Family Guy makes fun of retards, she freaks out about it but doesn’t ask for the resignation of anyone. Why wouldn’t she ask for the resignation of anyone involved? Oh, that’s right. She is a contributor for Fox News. Her boss is Rupert Murdoch. Wouldn’t want to bite the hand that feeds, right? I wonder why the Palins never made a stink about the eleventy billion other times that Family Guy has made fun of retards.

Douchebeag blotter #10: Donald Trump wears make-up

Looks like Donald Trump really wants some global warming.  He pleaded to have Al Gore’s Nobel Peace Prize stripped because it snows… on the east coast… in the winter. 

"With the coldest winter ever recorded, with snow setting record levels up and down the coast, the Nobel committee should take the Nobel Prize back from Al Gore."

"Gore wants us to clean up our factories... when China and other countries couldn't care less... China, Japan and India are laughing at America's stupidity."

Actually Donald, China, Japan and India are laughing at your bad comb-over and your horrible tan.  The best financial investment you could make at this point is to never go back to the tanning salon where you got your clown make-up painted on.

Obviously, Trump failed to mention that Vancouver doesn’t have any snow.  This time last year, Vancouver had over ten feet of snow; this year, three feet.  Henry thinks that Donald Trump, much like the other fucking clowns that deny global warming, believes that global warming conspiracies must only apply to America.  Well, by their rationale, shouldn’t global warming be real since it’s 73 degrees in the Phoenix desert?  Oh no no no.  It’s the desert.  It’s supposed to be warm.  Well, on the east coast, it is supposed to snow.  IT’S FUCKING FEBRUARY.